called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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