What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize