he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it glows. i had to have it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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