I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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