HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize