I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
