Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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