You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i think my cat just said my name.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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