I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
