that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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