Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Enjoy the penises
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize