This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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