my vag is so smooth its legendary
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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