Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
