I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
