I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
