We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
