its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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