you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
