true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
