So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
operation harelip BJ is a go
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
nutella sex= disaster
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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