i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
