dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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