Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
