stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sorry about my life...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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