My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize