I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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