man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
