Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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