i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize