Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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