D3 body, D1 cock
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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