i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize