This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize