So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
