whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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