What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she peed on how many people?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Congratulations! We have a period
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
