i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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