And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
