I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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