Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
