put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
