What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
