Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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