Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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