i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
