Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
