Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
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