We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
