How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
