im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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