walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize