It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
