Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
