Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize