i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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