waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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