I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize