White coat. Heels.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
