I think my vagina is haunted
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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