Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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